When you are on the other side of loss, a place where you are grieving for a friend who has suffered the passing of a loved one, it is hard to know how to comfort them. Many times, we send sympathy cards to let them know they are in our thoughts and prayers. Fortunately, today there are many beautiful cards available with pre-written sentiments that express how we feel. But often, especially when it is a close personal friend, we want to personalize the message, something that be quite challenging. So what do you do when the words won't come? A good way to put your thoughts into words is to search for quotes, poems or sayings that mean something to you. You don't need to copy the quote, but it may help shape your thoughts. You can begin with a simple, "My deepest condolences to you upon the passing of..." or "You are in our prayers during this difficult time in the loss of...". Following with a memory of the individual who has passed, or citing the relationship your friend had with that individual is one of the best ways to let someone know that you understand what they are going through. For example, "I know how much your Uncle meant to you and all the memories you have from visits to his home," or "Your brother, I know, was your closest friend, may the memories of all the wonderful years you had together give you strength." The person is grieving for a loss, letting them know that you understand its depth will surely bring them comfort. The most important thing is to not to avoid sending your condolences because you can't find the words. Even if you simply send a card that has a message that expresses what you feel, knowing that you care and are keeping them close in your heart will mean more than most words can convey.