What Can I Do to Help?
Don't Feel that You Have to Say Something: Our last two posts dealt with what to or not to say, however, the most important thing is to know that just being around is often enough. An embrace, a touch, a physical presence can bring as much or more comfort than words.
Take the Initiative: Just saying, "Let me know if I can do anything to help," doesn't really help. Be specific, be pro-active to be sure that your offer is accepted. For example if you can help with the shopping or a meal, suggest a time and day that you can do so. Or, offer to take on a specific task that you know will be difficult for them. Following through on your offer of support makes all the difference.
Help with Everyday Concerns: When someone is grieving, so often the small everyday tasks get lost and create larger problems. Popping over to help with errands, dishes, laundry or bill paying for someone who is emotionally exhausted is invaluable.
Help With the Children: When children are involved, sending them special cards or inviting them to outings with your family, helps everyone. This allows the adults time to grieve alone, and also gives the child a chance to be away from the sadness at home. Be a good listener. Just because they are being strong, does not mean they aren't in pain.
Accept Mood Swings: Highs and lows are part of the grieving process and you never know when someone will have a good or bad day. Be patient and flexible and aware that even after a good deal of time has gone by, moods can change dramatically.
These suggestions are edited from an article in the My Careletter, printed with permission from Heartlight Magazine.