How To Write and Deliver a Meaningful Eulogy

A man holds an urn and a woman stands next to him as he appears to be addressing a memorial service.

Giving a eulogy is a deeply personal way to honor a friend or family member who has passed away. While the task may feel overwhelming, it’s also an opportunity to bring comfort, share memories, and celebrate a life well lived.

The first step is to prepare, by taking time to gather your thoughts and reflect on your loved one’s life. Ask yourselves a few questions. What were his passions? What made her laugh? How did she show her love and care for others? Try to remember a few stories that capture his personality. Reach out to others to help fill in the gaps, especially when it comes to stories. 

A eulogy doesn’t need to be long or complex but having a structure is important. It will help you in the delivery and allow listeners to follow your thoughts. Start with introducing yourself and your relationship to the person who you are memorializing. You can then follow with an overview highlighting key events and important milestones. Next is a good time to share a few stories or personal anecdotes. It’s also okay to include gentle humor if it feels appropriate. Laughter can be healing. Close with expressing what the person meant to you, what he or she leaves behind and offer a comforting message to others. 

The most powerful eulogies come from the heart. Don’t worry about being poetic. Use your natural voice and speak as if you’re talking to a room of loved ones—because you are.

Here are a few tips for a smooth delivery: 

  • Write it out. You don’t need to read it word for word, but using tools like spacing and large or bold fonts, can help if you lose your place or get confused. 
  • Practicing aloud will help with pacing and emotional preparation.
  • Ask someone you trust to be ready in case you need support. It’s always good to have a backup plan. 
  • Be kind to yourself, if you need to take a moment to breathe, find your place or quell your emotions, it’s okay! Everyone listening understands. Your effort, your presence, and your love are more important than perfect delivery. 

Writing and giving a eulogy is an act of love. By sharing your words, you help everyone present remember, grieve, and begin to heal. And that, in itself, is a beautiful legacy.