Use Music To Start the Conversation

Cello resting on fence and surrounded by wildflowers

It is often difficult to approach the subject of pre-planning funeral arrangements with someone you love. It is a personal and intimate discussion which many people hesitate to start. However, there are so many reasons to have this conversation, especially with those family members who are older and nearing the end of their lives.

One of the best ways to ease into the conversation is talk about how your loved one imagines their memorial service. Where they would like it to be held, the people they would like to attend or speak about their life. To help get over the initial hurdle of discomfort, try talking about the subject of music. Music means so much to so many and often this is a good way to lead into a larger conversation.

My sisters and I recently had a conversation about funeral pre-planning with my 91-year old mother. One the subject of music, she was certain and it opened up a lot of other ideas of how she saw her memorial service. The music, the scriptures, poems and the people she would like included in the service. Remembering her favorite songs, many of them hymns from her childhood, made her smile and brought her joy, knowing they would represent a part of her.

Whether it is a special hymn, a dance tune from a wedding or celebration, a song written especially for them, music carries so many memories. It can be an easy  way to lead into an important and special conversation with your loved one as to how he or she wants to be remembered.