The Year of Giving Yourself Permission – Finding Grace in Grief During the Holidays

The holidays often arrive with a script — bright lights, cheerful gatherings, and traditions meant to feel joyful. But when you’ve lost someone dear, those familiar rituals can feel like they belong to another life, another you. This year, there may be little energy for the old script. That’s okay. Think of this season as the year of permission — a time to offer yourself the same grace you’d give a friend.

Permission to change your traditions.
You don’t have to do everything the way you always have. If baking the family cookies brings no comfort, skip them this year. Grief changes us — and it’s natural that our holidays change, too. There is plenty of room for new ideas and traditions or adaptations to old ones that feel more comfortable.

Permission to feel what you feel.
There’s no right way to grieve during the holidays. Some days you may laugh; other days you may cry at the sound of a  Christmas Carol. Both belong. Feelings can be a rollercoaster. Sometimes, grace means letting the emotions come and trusting they’ll pass.

Permission to step away — or to join in.
Don’t be afraid to decline invitations or leave a gathering early. You might also discover that you find comfort in company after all. Either choice is valid, again its up to you. Grief asks us to listen inward, not outward, for what we need. This is your season to follow your own rhythm.

Above all, give yourself permission to rest — from expectations, from guilt, from pretending everything is fine. Healing rarely happens in a straight line, and the holidays can magnify every curve of it. But even in the tender spaces, grace is waiting — gentle, patient, and ready to meet you where you are.

This year, may you find comfort not in perfection, but in permission.